Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
