You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
