i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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