So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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