Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
