The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
