See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
