went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
