your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I got chris browned last night
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You made out with two different species that night
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
