tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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