Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
