My room smells like vodka and shame
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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