Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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