Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
