4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
