he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
