when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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