This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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