dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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