'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Randomize
