I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
