Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
