Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
