Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize