I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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