i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Randomize
