I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
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