dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
