I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
