he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
