Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
smell my finger.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
the room spins SO much faster in panama
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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