I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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