We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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