Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
