Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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