is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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