just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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