I showed him my bush... on skype.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize