I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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