Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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