call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
