I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
