Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
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