i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
