It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
