im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
