just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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