i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
