You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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