I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
