i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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