just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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