What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
