I just cut my nipple shaving
Say something about gay babies.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
