Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
