my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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