did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
