i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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