Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
