We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
