It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
